Stuff to Remember

Overhearing my girls playing in my bed. They are ministering to their stuffed T-Rex that they share and take turns sleeping with in their beds. He is sick and cold and needs covers. Katie says, "I know exactly what you need because I am your mom." Carter says, "Your mom is the person that loves you most of all. I am your mom too because I love you most of all too."

We made chocolate chip cookies together today. It was a tough afternoon that involved a long dramatic tantrum at naptime. They slept a long time and then Katie woke up with storm clouds in her eyes. It was a thunderous goodbye session with David when he had to go to work and the only way I could think to stop the trajectory toward an all out hurricane-force tantrum was to suggest we make cookies. After 30 minutes more of whining and complaining, "But I love you mom, I just love you and I love Daddy and I just don't want him to go to work ever again..." we were in business.

And while the whining continued well into dinner and I completely caved and let them watch a continuous loop of Max and Ruby while they ate so I could pound Cheeze-Its and call a friend in an attempt to avoid chanting like that guy in "The Burbs;" I do want to remember this time in their lives. This time, while they are three and still so compliant that when I told them they could have one cookie for dessert and then I sat in the next room, out of sight, talking to my friend they did not even attempt to take another cookie from the huge pile on the table. I don't think it even crossed their minds.

There will be so many offenses in their lives that I will not be a part of, that I might never find out about, and might never want to. I know that someday as I am trying not to be hurt and worried by those things I will look back on this time with wistfulness and remember when all their anger and emotion was right there in front of me- impossible to contain, impossible to ignore, impossible to not know exactly what they need because I am their mom and I can hear even through the whining how much they love me. And I do love them. Most of all.