Emotions

Today I am feeling very emotional. I feel like it is so irrational and beyond my control and not at all related to anything that is really going on in my life and so I am blaming it on hormones from pregnancy. But it still is difficult. I have that constant raw feeling in my throat. And everything- good or bad or indifferent, enhances that feeling. My watermelon slice broke in my hand and got all over the kitchen floor. I wanted to cry about it. I watched a snippet on 60 Minutes about Michael Phelps and wanted to cry out of pride that he accomplished his goals and that his mom is so proud of him. I came down to the absolute wreck that is my house after finally getting my girls to sleep at 9pm after a full day with no nap and wanted to weep at how overwhelmed I am one day into a 12 day stretch of being alone with all this. I am not really a person that cries a lot. I hate the feeling afterwards when my whole body is still heaving and my face is a swollen wreck. My face takes about 2 days to get back to normal after I cry. If I cry within a few hours of going to sleep, the next day I look like I got beat up.

I don't know how to come out of this. Normally I would go work out or do something to pamper myself, but I can't exactly do that right now without a lot of coordination of childcare and a lot of cleaning before anyone walked in the door to take care of my kids. This is when I really wish I lived close to family. Being with someone else helps a lot. I think I am going to get up early and get the girls and dog out the door as early as I can so I can get a good walk in to start the day. Hopefully getting my blood flowing will help. Wish me luck.