Bad Mom

I got chewed out at the Marin Farmer's Market today for leaving my dog in the hot car while I dashed in and bought strawberries. Three angry women were chastising me for taking too long. Two angry three-year-olds were screaming at me because they were not ready to leave the market yet (We were literally away from the car for 10 minutes). One angry man was defending me to the angry women (He talked to me as I got out of the car and saw me walking hurriedly to my car). I had the remains of a migraine pounding in my head. I could not get out of there fast enough.

My refrigerator is still empty of veggies. I keep looking at the dog to see if there is any sign that he was affected in any way by the 10 minutes in the car on what was admittedly a hotter day than I first thought (which is why I rushed back to the car-once I realized). He retreated to the back of the van to escape the air conditioner on our way home. We got home and he whined to be let out on the deck where he baked himself in the sun until he was heaving and panting and then came inside and lay right on my pillow. During dinner he was running all over the living room trying to catch a fly in his jaws- the sound of his teeth clicking together making all of us laugh. Why does criticism- even completely misinformed not-applicable criticism stay in your head at the forefront of your thoughts, and praise, even well-deserved praise dissolve instantly in your memory?

All day I have felt like a bad mom because of what those fired up women said- even lied about (one woman said she had been standing by my car 40 minutes and had placed a call to the vet number on the dog tags 30 minutes before). Um sorry- not possible. I was parked in the spot a total of 20 minutes, away from my car a total of 10 minutes.

I am only now remembering the five different times each of my daughters told me she loved me today. I think if my dog hated me or felt neglected by me, he would not have chosen my pillow to slobber on after his patio bake. Or maybe he chose it BECAUSE I am such a bad mom. Hope those strawberries taste good!