I think it started at preschool with the dress-up box. The obsession was nurtured by a vacation trip to Target with their grandmother where they selected Snow White and Belle barbies as a toy treat. These dolls they liked and played with, but they also played with lots of other, less royal, less Disney themed dolls. But then they saw Snow White (the movie) and there was all kinds of pretend play about poison apples and mean witches and who is the fairest of them all. It then hit obsession.
They selected some non-Disney neutral princess figurines from the toy store when their grandmother visited for their birthday. We figured non-specific princesses were better than the Disney marketing machine. Better for imaginations, better for self-esteem. Neutral princesses don’t necessarily need Prince Charming to come rescue them and help them live happily ever after. Maybe neutral princesses run the kingdom all on their own, governing with a just and intelligent authority. Maybe they don’t need a man with a cape and folded leather boots to save their lives with a kiss. Maybe they are not all white skinned, blue-eyed beauties with puffy sleeves and cleavage and a 10 inch waist.
I had a conversation with my friends about the obsession and the consensus was it wasn’t that bad and the Disney princesses give their daughters so much joy that it is worth it to see the smiles on their faces as they dress up. There was question about the impact of a talking princess camera that states, “You’re as pretty as a princess” when you push the button. As if that is something all should strive to be.
Santa brought a treasure box with three neutral (non-Disney) princess dresses and accessories, including soft slippers. My girls put them on and wore them for 5 days straight. One got puked on and had scarcely dried from the quick rinse before it was being worn again. Whenever the suggestion of removing the dresses was made, tantrums commenced and all was not well in the kingdom.
Daily plans were made by my newly three year olds for when they were really really good and would get a Snow White dress as a special treat. (All their invention- I never offered this). I saw one on big sale at Wal Mart and caved. I saved it for when they earned it with 5 stickers, but still- I purchased a Disney-themed princess dress (okay I purchased two of them- Cinderella was 50% off as well). The rules are that they can’t wear them outside the house, can’t wear them while sleeping, and cannot cry when we take them off. If they do, they can’t wear them the next day.
Two days ago there was a tantrum for the ages when it was time to take off the Snow White dress. It lasted an hour and a half. While my eardrums were ringing from the screaming I was cursing the whole idea of it all. That some very lucky girls have it all- the dresses, the looks, the perfect house, the perfect man, witty sidekicks to listen to all their problems and tell them the right thing to do, then to go get help when they follow their heart and do the wrong thing in the name of love, fairy godmothers to protect them, knowing and harmonizing animal friends to help you with your chores, and flawless bodies that can easily be carried to safety or swept off their feet in a passionate embrace. And at three, my daughters already want that for themselves. They believe when they put on those dresses and the god forsaken plastic high heels that make them walk wobbly and will surely sprain an ankle, that they are those princesses. I just hope that the real life realization that life and love are not fairy tales doesn’t hurt them too much. Or that they don’t waste too much of their creativity and energy pursuing an impossible ideal that sprouted in their minds at this tender age of three. I wish I could protect them from the let down.
They have already asked me to be Ursula the mean sea witch in their pretend play. How much longer until they are calling me that out of anger?
I was fine with the dinosaur obsession
and the Miss Viola Swamp/Miss Nelson obsession, but why is this princess obsession a thorn in my side?
Just remember that kids this age are just beginning to learn about imagination and trying to figure out what is real and what is not. Since they have a built-in playmate it is so much easier to get obsessed with something since they have someone their same age to go along with everything. Next week (or month or whenever), they'll be obsessed with playing library, grocery store, vet's office, or something along those lines. If I were you, I'd save those princess dresses in a memory box because they're not going to believe you when you tell them about the monumental tantrum.
ReplyDeleteThis picture is so cute. Their little hairs were just starting to get long and curly at the bottom when it got wet! Miss those sweet angels.
ReplyDeleteI love this entry Jes, the title and quote "Whenever the suggestion of removing the dresses was made, tantrums commenced and all was not well in the kingdom."
ReplyDeleteExcellently written and expressed.